00:00
hey guys I'm back with the first video
00:03
so this one's gonna be like the
00:05
beginning of my story growing up as a
00:08
Jehovah's Witness and I'm just gonna go
00:10
ahead and get right into it I'm trying
00:11
to keep these videos 20 minutes or less
00:14
because I know people's attention span
00:15
kind of tops out there so let's get
00:18
started
00:19
so I was born into their religion I was
00:22
born back in 1995 and I remember my mom
00:26
telling me stories of taking me in
00:28
service like a week after I was born
00:32
something like that which i think is
00:36
pretty typical for witnesses that are
00:38
born in service was a huge part of
00:43
things growing up I even a regular
00:46
pioneer later on but not to get ahead of
00:49
myself so both my parents were born in
00:52
as well I think the first person to come
00:56
into the truth was my great-great-great
01:01
grandmother if I remember correctly I
01:04
could be wrong though the story growing
01:07
up was always that my sister and I were
01:10
fifth generation raised in the truth so
01:12
you do the math that could be true it
01:15
could be not true there's not really any
01:17
way for me to know I don't have any like
01:19
physical proof of that but pretty much
01:22
we were told growing up that our family
01:25
lineage as witnesses went back to pretty
01:28
much the beginning with Charles taze
01:31
Russell and that's who founded the
01:33
religion so yeah I was born in didn't
01:39
know anything else growing up I've got
01:42
some notes here so I don't get
01:43
sidetracked but yeah so my dad was an
01:48
elder he became an elder before I was
01:50
even born
01:51
he was very young he was about 20 21 22
01:56
I believe when he became an elder and we
02:01
started out when I was little in a
02:04
congregation in Georgia Cleveland
02:06
Georgia and I was born in Dahlonega
02:09
Georgia super small towns I'm sure
02:12
barely any of you have heard of them
02:15
so yeah small country town small country
02:19
congregation very odd people I'm sure a
02:23
lot of you can relate to that and so the
02:31
physical and mental abuse but my dad
02:32
began when I was three so my earliest
02:34
memories are of that and I'm not going
02:36
to get into too much detail at that on
02:38
this channel but it was physical sexual
02:41
and emotional abuse mostly sexual
02:46
secondary emotional so you can imagine
02:51
growing up with a dad that you thought
02:54
was appointed by Jehovah God to be a
02:57
leader in the congregation was tough
03:00
when he got home because you know I
03:03
thought that the things he was the
03:05
horrible things he was telling me and
03:07
how he felt about me and treated me was
03:09
how God felt about me and what he
03:12
thought of me and what I deserved
03:15
essentially so it was very confusing
03:16
very layered altered my view of
03:20
everything really I couldn't really get
03:22
out of that mindset it wasn't just like
03:24
separated from home and there done the
03:26
religion it was all intertwined so my
03:29
self-worth has been very low pretty much
03:31
my whole life and a lot of abuse victims
03:36
can relate to that but so I grew up in
03:41
in a fishbowl inside of a bigger
03:44
fishbowl so there was my family which
03:45
was its own weird level of cult and then
03:53
the Jehovah's Witnesses so I kind of had
03:57
two bubbles to break out from which I
04:00
didn't realize until a lot later in life
04:01
so yeah I didn't have many friends
04:06
growing up we were pretty isolated not
04:08
just because we were in a small town
04:10
because my family didn't want to be
04:12
exposed what was going on at home and
04:14
honestly I didn't know that what was
04:16
going on at home for me and my sister
04:19
wasn't normal because it was all I was
04:22
used
04:23
I went through public school from
04:26
kindergarten to fifth grade and then I
04:27
was pulled out in homeschooled but for
04:29
those five years five or six years I hmm
04:34
I didn't relate to many people at all as
04:38
a witness you're not allowed to salute
04:40
the flag you're not allowed to celebrate
04:41
any holidays so whenever something was
04:44
going on like that I had to sit in the
04:47
hallway by myself outside of the
04:49
classroom every morning I was able to
04:53
stand for the flag salute but I wasn't
04:55
able to put my hand on my heart or
04:57
recite anything so you can imagine the
05:00
stairs I was just a kid so everything's
05:04
a big deal when you're little I got
05:07
questions all the time and I wasn't
05:09
quite sure how to answer them except for
05:11
oh I'm a Jehovah's Witness and that's
05:16
pretty much all I knew to say and I know
05:17
that later on they really focused on
05:19
teaching young ones how to respond to
05:22
questions like that as witnesses but
05:24
growing up I didn't really have solid
05:27
answers for that and that was pretty
05:28
much my only reasoning for myself too
05:31
and I would kind of beat myself up for
05:34
that like oh I should have witnessed
05:35
them I could have said something nice
05:37
about Jehovah something nice about the
05:39
religion but at the time I didn't want
05:41
to you and I was embarrassed that was
05:44
really hard being in school and having
05:46
everyone looking at you and you know as
05:50
a witness your topic you should be
05:52
different you should feel different
05:53
because that shows that you're doing
05:55
something right
05:56
and they would have the illustration of
05:59
the scripture where it says you know
06:01
Jesus was no part of the world and
06:03
things like that so we shouldn't be
06:05
either and it felt like that
06:08
I mean mission accomplished I felt
06:11
separate from everyone outside of the
06:14
congregation yeah so there was that
06:18
sorry if the light goes up and down I
06:21
know the quality is not so good um so we
06:24
moved around congregations quite a bit
06:27
growing up because my dad was constantly
06:29
getting in trouble he would single out
06:32
sisters in the congregation to have
06:35
affairs with
06:36
um he heard a lot of people he was very
06:40
not he was not mentally stable um so we
06:45
moved a lot every time he was about to
06:47
get in trouble about to be cornered for
06:49
something we would move so we went from
06:51
Cleveland Georgia to Braselton Georgia
06:52
like an hour away then we moved to
06:55
Florida for a time went to three or four
06:57
congregations there and we only lived
07:00
there for about five years then we moved
07:02
back to Georgia and that was a strange
07:05
time we moved back to Georgia back to
07:09
the same congregation that I was born in
07:13
and the same trailer to the same trailer
07:17
that I grew up in that had horrible
07:18
memories in it so that was like I was 16
07:21
at the time and I was shook I felt
07:24
disgusted to be back in the same spot
07:26
again I was just kind of surreal but so
07:29
we moved back there about to the same
07:31
congregation and each time we moved my
07:35
dad makes made sure to put us on a
07:38
pedestal so we were always kind of like
07:40
the model family in each congregation it
07:44
was my mom and dad that my dad was
07:46
constantly giving talks always front and
07:50
center in the congregation he either
07:53
conducted the theocratic ministry school
07:55
or how to talk every week it got to the
07:58
point where he even had assembly talks
08:00
every single year on the big TV screens
08:04
with ten thousand people and the
08:07
audience at assemblies and things like
08:08
that
08:09
all of it and so he always made sure
08:13
that we were that family the one that
08:16
every witness family wanted to be in the
08:18
congregation that was a lot of pressure
08:20
for my sister and I we we already had a
08:22
lot of pressure in general from the
08:24
organization and then a lot of pressure
08:27
at home to be exactly what my dad wanted
08:30
us to be for him and then then we on top
08:33
of that had to be go above and beyond to
08:37
impress everybody in the congregation so
08:41
we kind of grew up with big heads we
08:45
were put on a pedestal constantly
08:47
complimented
08:48
and seen as examples by the other
08:53
witnesses constantly giving
08:56
demonstrations giving talks it was
08:58
exhausting to be honest to be like
08:59
looked at and examined that much I even
09:04
at fifteen joined the sign language
09:07
congregation I learned sign language
09:09
joins that group helps there everything
09:13
we did was watched and so we were
09:15
drugged on stage for another
09:16
demonstration for another interview and
09:18
things like that and I didn't like it I
09:20
didn't like growing up that way so yeah
09:24
there was that and you know after moving
09:29
so much and ending up back in the same
09:32
place it was not only triggering but
09:37
just confusing because everybody else
09:40
stayed in that corrugation everybody
09:43
else hadn't moved at all nothing had
09:44
really changed and and we we had we had
09:47
run around a lot and I wasn't really
09:48
sure why at the time I didn't piece
09:51
those things together till later in life
09:52
but yeah I'm thinking about it now the
09:58
congregation arrangement is kind of
10:00
strange because in the world everybody
10:03
goes through school goes through high
10:06
school goes through college and then you
10:08
move on and then you meet new people
10:09
with a congregation it gets super stale
10:12
because it's the same people and you're
10:15
forced to meet together you know three
10:17
four times a week go and service
10:19
together spend all this time together
10:20
and you're forced to love each other and
10:22
things like that but in order to meet
10:25
new people
10:26
all you're allowed to do is go to the
10:28
next congregation or travel and go to
10:31
that car negation you know what I mean
10:32
so it's a very small community and that
10:35
was always really frustrating for me so
10:37
I didn't have many friends growing up so
10:42
at 18 I decide
10:48
I was sick of it I was sick of living at
10:51
home and being abused
10:52
I had just pioneered for a year or two
10:55
was frustrated with that didn't like it
10:57
went through pioneer school never felt
11:00
fulfilled and then when I was 18 the
11:04
abuse at home reached a head so we met
11:08
with the elders and they basically said
11:13
you know we need some physical proof
11:16
that you're being heard at home and we
11:20
didn't have that so we went home pray to
11:25
Jehovah my sister and I might look my
11:26
little sister prayed and prayed and
11:29
prayed for proof prayed actually that my
11:32
dad would hit us hard enough that we
11:35
would have the proof we would have my
11:38
bruise we prayed that we could find
11:41
proof on his phone that he was cheating
11:43
anything any proof at all you just
11:46
needed something to bring to the next
11:47
elders meeting and show them like hey
11:50
we're telling the truth so it didn't
11:52
even matter that I had a second witness
11:54
I had my sister and she had me even then
11:57
that wasn't enough because and I think
11:59
deep down they just didn't want to
12:01
remove him as an elder and a speaker
12:03
because they used him so much which is
12:08
so shallow and petty so eventually we
12:14
got the proof in the form of pornography
12:17
of teenagers my sister and I are Ages
12:22
that he was watching so we brought that
12:26
proof he brought the list of websites a
12:28
screenshot we'd taken of his phone
12:30
brought that to the elders and even then
12:35
they refused to remove him from his
12:37
assembly talk that was that weekend so
12:41
their excuse was that it was too short
12:43
of notice to remove him
12:47
and to me with him and handle things so
12:51
we go to the assembly that weekend and
12:54
lo and behold my dad comes onstage and
12:57
his face is on the big TV screen and
12:58
we're just sitting the audience like
13:01
holy [palabra obscena] he's still up there and I
13:06
thought back to our last elders meeting
13:08
and they had warned us they were like
13:09
look your dad's probably not gonna do
13:11
that good of a job up there because he
13:14
doesn't have to hold his Holy Spirit
13:15
anymore
13:16
but you know what he did the same he did
13:21
great
13:22
he was charming as hell told his jokes
13:26
made the audience laugh got through his
13:28
entire talk everyone applauded you know
13:32
same old thing and my sister and I were
13:36
just sitting in the audience like sick
13:37
to our stomachs thinking the elders know
13:39
now I have proof of what he's doing and
13:43
he's still up there still being patted
13:46
on the back when he gets down off the
13:47
stage and things like that so that was
13:49
sickening I'm here just looking around
13:51
like I couldn't even look at the big TV
13:53
screen I couldn't look at the stage I
13:54
was just sick so a few days after that
13:58
they started meeting with him and of
13:59
course my parents freaked out I remember
14:02
my mom screaming at my sister and I like
14:05
do you realize what you've done to our
14:06
family and do you really want the elders
14:10
know about our sex life and I was like
14:12
okay so mom knows about the abuse
14:15
obviously yeah that was a lovely
14:19
conversation so there were so many
14:23
things that happened back to back during
14:24
that time and things were kind of
14:26
reaching ahead and getting more intense
14:27
at home so my dad I remember at one
14:31
point was like you know what I want to
14:34
fix this I want to make it up to you
14:35
guys to you girls so I'm gonna take you
14:38
all for a nice drive up in the mountains
14:41
next weekend
14:44
so you can you know find it in your
14:46
hearts to forgive me I'm gonna like
14:47
shower you was love or whatever but his
14:49
whole demeanor with it was very uh how
14:53
do I put this very I don't just dark it
15:00
was very dark my sister and I just had
15:02
bad feeling about it so we had one more
15:06
elders meeting before that weekend and I
15:08
was like look I'm not comfortable going
15:09
on this drive with him I feel like he
15:11
might just drive us off a cliff to be
15:14
completely honest and my sister actually
15:16
felt the same way which I didn't know um
15:19
and they were like okay well if things
15:22
reach a head before then they like try
15:24
to go try to respect your father but if
15:27
things get bad during the week before
15:30
then
15:30
hokku go bag and have it ready to go and
15:34
I remember asking the brothers like well
15:37
where are we gonna go and they were like
15:39
oh we'll make arrangements just like
15:41
call us and you know it'll be fine and I
15:43
was like should I call the cops
15:45
and they were like oh I don't think
15:47
that's necessary if you truly feel that
15:50
you're in danger just have your go-bag
15:51
ready and you know get to your car and
15:54
just you know drive somewhere and I was
15:57
like what I was 17 going on 18 super
16:05
sheltered didn't have any friends nearby
16:09
didn't have
16:11
barely knew how to drive at the time and
16:14
I was borrowing using a car from someone
16:17
else in the car nation that wasn't mine
16:18
and and I was just thinking yeah but
16:22
like what if he comes at us with I don't
16:24
know a knife you know your brain goes to
16:26
the worst and I'm just thinking I'm just
16:28
supposed to like casually grab a
16:31
backpack from my room without him
16:32
noticing and get in my car that's not
16:35
how that works in an abusive household
16:37
you're watched and we wouldn't be
16:40
allowed to leave so yeah that was
16:44
interesting and things did reach ahead
16:49
my sister and I thought maybe we could
16:51
talk some sense into my mom so we got
16:58
some proof that dad was cheating on her
16:59
yet again and we just assumed that my
17:02
mom didn't know because she was kind of
17:05
unaware most of the time so one night we
17:08
were like mom I think you deserved to
17:11
know
17:12
like dad's cheating on you and we showed
17:14
her the pictures we took of dad's phone
17:17
and she didn't cry she didn't even
17:21
really flinch she just kind of like
17:22
stared at us from the doorway of my room
17:25
and then walked away got in the car and
17:30
left and left for hours and she didn't
17:35
come back until like 1:00 in the morning
17:36
in the meantime my dad came home from
17:40
work and was freaking out and calling
17:43
the brothers and I remember hearing him
17:44
in the yard going I just don't know why
17:46
she would do this I didn't haven't done
17:47
anything and you know we were healing as
17:50
a family and talking things out and
17:53
everything's fine
17:53
can you can you tell her to come home
17:55
and sure enough the elders backed him up
17:58
and they called my mom and told her to
17:59
come home so she did to this day I don't
18:02
know where she went but yeah so that was
18:07
interesting that was the first time my
18:08
mom ever left his side for that long
18:13
because for the most part she supported
18:15
and wholeheartedly growing up
18:18
so during this time we heard from our
18:25
cousins in Pennsylvania which we were
18:28
never really close to our relatives
18:29
either growing up so we didn't have any
18:32
real connections with people at all
18:33
honestly we were very shut closed off
18:37
and sheltered so I remember we got some
18:41
messages from my uncle who was also an
18:44
elder him and his family and my
18:47
relatives they're all witnesses and we
18:49
heard from them saying hey your cousin's
18:51
getting married which she was only 19 at
18:54
the time but he's getting married and we
18:57
want you guys to be there we want you to
18:58
be here for the wedding and I thought
19:00
that's so strange we haven't seen them
19:01
in years but like cool we actually get
19:04
to go somewhere let's go
19:06
and of course my parents are like no
19:11
we're not going so then I remember my
19:14
uncle contacting us again like hey we at
19:15
least want you know Taylor and Casey the
19:19
girls to come to the wedding and I was
19:22
like oh my gosh could we actually get to
19:25
travel somewhere just us that would be
19:27
the most exciting thing because I up
19:30
until then I had only been on a plane
19:32
one other time in my life and that was
19:34
for the one amazing vacation we had as a
19:37
family when I was like 12 so I was like
19:40
thrilled I was like oh my gosh this is
19:41
gonna be amazing we get to go somewhere
19:44
and what do you know my parents said no
19:48
so I don't know what got into my uncle's
19:51
head but he bought us tickets anyway
19:56
and to this day I think you know if
20:00
there is some higher power that was at
20:02
work in that moment because we weren't
20:04
even close to them I don't know why he
20:06
wanted us to be there so bad my family
20:08
um but he bought us tickets anyway so at
20:13
that point my parents couldn't say no so
20:16
I remember the drive to the airport it
20:18
was a couple weeks after that and after
20:22
fight after fight at home of why did you
20:24
go to the elders about our problems and
20:26
stuff like that and my sister and I were
20:29
just exhausted and we were going up to
20:32
Pennsylvania for the week for my
20:33
cousin's wedding and on the drive to the
20:36
airport I remember my parents saying hey
20:38
so we're not going to talk about
20:39
anything that our family has gone
20:41
through with them right like you're not
20:45
going to mention any of this we're fine
20:47
I don't want you talking about anything
20:50
personal actually with our family I want
20:53
you to go have fun at the wedding and
20:55
come straight home so that that was our
20:59
instructions and I'm 18 at this point my
21:03
sister is
21:07
quite 16 she was still 15 at the time so
21:10
we get to the airport and I remember it
21:14
came time to say goodbye and we were
21:15
about to go through customs and stuff
21:16
and my parents didn't really hug us and
21:19
they didn't they didn't even really say
21:21
goodbye my dad looked at me and he said
21:23
be good and they turned and left and I
21:30
was like this is strange and I remember
21:32
telling my sister I was like hey once we
21:34
get in line we have to turn back and
21:35
wave so they think that we're we're cool
21:38
you know
21:39
so they don't get mad that we didn't
21:41
that we won't miss them and things like
21:45
that you know in reality we were so
21:46
thrilled to get away from them for a
21:48
week but we turn back around and they
21:50
were already gone I don't know where
21:53
they were yeah I thought that was so
21:56
strange um so we get on the plane we go
21:59
to Pennsylvania and of course eventually
22:01
my uncle's like what's wrong with you
22:03
guys
22:04
my own uncle they were kind of like
22:05
looking this like you guys are super
22:07
depressed
22:07
you seem shook is there something going
22:11
on at home
22:13
and we talked disobeyed my parents thank
22:19
God
22:22
yeah we told him what was going on and
22:25
my uncle called my dad he did a
22:29
three-way call with one of my other
22:31
uncle's and they both called my dad and
22:32
we're like hey we wanted to talk to you
22:34
about this the girls are saying some
22:36
things that are happening at home and we
22:37
just wanted to see if that was true and
22:41
if he need help or something of that
22:42
sort and I remember I was sitting in the
22:45
room and my uncle was on the phone with
22:46
with my dad and I could hear both my
22:48
parents start screaming on the other
22:51
line I couldn't even hear what they were
22:52
saying that they were freaking out and
22:55
my uncle you know put his hand on the
22:58
phone and he looked at my sister 9:00 he
22:59
was like
23:01
do you want to stay here do you need to
23:04
stay here like do you do you really want
23:07
to go home at the end of this week and
23:09
my sister and I said no
23:13
so we didn't and I'm going to stop the
23:19
story here that was a lot hopefully I
23:22
didn't jump around too much hopefully
23:24
you understood you know how things went
23:28
chronologically if any of you have
23:31
questions or need more detail on one of
23:33
the things I talked about just let me
23:35
know in the comments below and yeah I
23:38
may go ahead and record part two now but
23:40
it won't be out for a few days so I hope
23:43
you enjoyed this let me know and
23:45
subscribe like if you want no pressure
23:48
and I will see you in part two
23:50
bye guys
![[Imagen: 312554928-8634900413188542-2070329703511938974-n.jpg]](https://i.ibb.co/SPkLKLR/312554928-8634900413188542-2070329703511938974-n.jpg)
